You’ve just had a baby. After months of anticipating the arrival of your little bundle, you’re supposed to be filled with joy. Except you’re not. Maybe you’re a little sad. Maybe you’re crying more. Whatever it is, something just doesn’t feel right.
The point is that you’re a new parent who should be enjoying this exciting adventure with your newborn. Figuring out what’s wrong — and finding a way to fix it — is essential.
Even if you’ve never faced this type of unhappiness before, there’s a chance you’re experiencing postpartum depression. It’s a form of depression that appears specifically after childbirth. If it’s happening to you, you’re not alone.
Trying to determine whether you’re just dealing with a case of the “baby blues” or postpartum depression can be confusing. Keep reading to better understand the symptoms and how to get the mental health treatment you need.
1. You’re Not Getting Better
Feeling a little down after childbirth is normal. Growing another person is hard. Your hormones have been on a rollercoaster for roughly 10 months. Then, suddenly going into labor can make any hormonal swings that much more intense.
If you’re not feeling better within two weeks, though, it’s time to consider there’s something bigger going on. Roughly one in seven women develop this condition, so it’s not uncommon. Feeling sad or hopeless are two classic signs of postpartum depression. Pay special attention to whether those feelings start getting worse.
2. You’re Not Having Fun Anymore
Since you’re probably sleep-deprived, this sign might be harder to recognize. Make a note to see if you’re still enjoying some of the same old things. Does your favorite food still make your mouth water? Are you enjoying cuddling with your partner like you once did? Is that silly part in your favorite movie still cracking you up?
If not, it’s time to talk with your doctor. Losing interest in things you once enjoyed is concerning. Big changes in moods or habits point to a deeper depression that requires treatment.
3. You’re Feeling Sad or Guilty
When you’re a new parent, there are tons of things to get upset about. Maybe you didn’t immediately notice your baby’s swaddle was a little too tight. Perhaps you thought they would enjoy Peek-a-Boo, but they got scared instead. Parenting is a learning process, so you’re going to mess up sometimes. It’s normal to feel sad and a bit guilty about it.
If you’re feeling waves of guilt crash over you, however, that’s different. You shouldn’t dissolve into tears when your baby doesn’t like mashed bananas for breakfast. Letting these small things get to you can be a sign of postpartum depression you shouldn’t ignore.
4. You’re Convinced You’re a Bad Parent
This feeling can be especially strong — especially if you’re a first-time parent. Truthfully, though, it can hit you after your second or third child, too. It’s perfectly normal to have this thought from time to time. So, if it’s a fleeting idea, don’t stress about it.
Are you constantly worrying about it or second-guessing everything you do, however? If you’re convinced that you’re failing, it’s time to talk with your doctor. You should address any consistent doubts about your parenting abilities sooner rather than later.
5. You’re Not Sleeping
OK, to be honest, you do have a newborn at home. They wake you up several times a night to eat. Plus, you can’t always nap when your baby naps. You do need some time to take care of yourself (like a shower!) or deal with a few chores.
If you’re truly not getting any rest, that’s a significant problem. On the flip side, it’s an equally big deal if you can’t stay awake. Postpartum depression could be the culprit if your sleep schedule and patterns are vastly different from normal.
6. You Can’t Make Decisions Anymore
That same sleep deprivation can have other impacts, as well. It makes it harder for you to concentrate and think through things. Suddenly, deciding what to make for dinner can feel overwhelming. Dinnertime will roll around before you can make up your mind.
You may also stop caring about what happens. It’s possible you’ll have no desire to get out of bed or dress your baby. When you lack the motivation to do anything, that’s a red flag.
You Can Get Help
Fortunately, you don’t have to struggle alone with postpartum depression. There are several avenues available that can help you overcome these overwhelming feelings. One of the most important things you can do is connect with other new parents. Knowing that others face the same dilemmas can help improve your overall mood.
You can go a step further by building out a larger support network. Consider including other family members, healthcare providers, or spiritual leaders. If you’d rather talk with a professional, you can call the Postpartum Support International hotline at 800-944-4773. Your doctor may also recommend traditional psychotherapy or antidepressants, depending upon your symptoms.
Postpartum depression can be a scary experience. It robs you of the happiness and excitement you expected to feel around the birth of your child. Knowing how to identify the signs is important. By recognizing these symptoms in yourself, you’re one step closer to getting the medical care you need.